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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473227">The Path to Love is Long and Winding</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ouat/pseuds/Ouat'>Ouat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:22:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,742</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ouat/pseuds/Ouat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan had dreamed of having a soulmate for as long as he could remember. Adam on the other hand is of the opinion that fate should keep its hands to itself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Declan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since he'd been a child sitting at his father's knee Ronan had always known that soulmates were perfect. This was evidenced through his parents who so clearly adored each other and further supported by the stories they told him.  Even as he’d gotten older and realized that his soulmate would likely not be a girl, he’d still known that they would be perfect for him. After his father's death and his mother's breakdown the knowledge that his soulmate was out there waiting for him to find them was one of the cornerstones that grounded him.</p><p>…….</p><p>Ronan is standing at an intersection attempting to calm down an upset Matthew. God he hates New York. If it weren't for the fact that Gansey lived here he'd think the only people who would live in this shithole are fuckers like Declan he thinks. The light changes and he starts to walk when suddenly a hand wrapped around his arm pulls him back. Just a moment later a truck blows by the light. He gapes for a second at how close he’d come to death. He turns around and sees the person who pulled him back. It's a boy, probably around his own age. He's standing there awkwardly balancing his bike with one hand, his other hand is still on Ronans arm. He sees Ronan looking and quickly pulls his hand back. He's still looking at Ronan concernedly though. “Are you all right” he asks, there’s a slight, pleasant sounding twang to it. Ronan just nods, still stunned. He’s beautiful, Ronan realizes suddenly. Then he notices the burning sensation spreading across his back. His back where his soulmate mark is. His mark has activated he thinks dumbly. This boy is his soulmate. The boy, his soulmate, smiles at him before turning to get on his bike. Abruptly Ronan realizes his soulmate is leaving. He needs to say something in order to activate his mark. He wills himself to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He's left standing at the intersection as his soulmate rides away. By the time Ronan has gained anything even resembling sense his soulmate is gone. </p><p>…….</p><p>Several hours later Ronan returns to Ganseys’ dorm. He’d spent several frantic hours wandering around the blocks near the intersection trying to find his soulmate or anyone who maybe knew him. He’d come up with nothing. His soulmate was gone. He'd probably never find him Ronan thought with an air of despair. When he walks into Ganseys room he just goes in and collapses onto Ganseys’ bed, emotionally exhausted. Gansey had stopped whatever he’d been working on when he walked in and was now looking at him, clearly worried. Finally he spoke. “Ronan are you all right?”</p><p>Ugh those words he thinks. The same ones his soulmate had uttered to him earlier. They sounded so different in Gansey’s southern old money accent. It makes him want to scream in frustration. All he wants is to be left alone right now but he knows Gansey won’t leave him alone until he has an answer. So in lieu of an actual response he tugs off his shirt showing the activated mark on his back. Gansey stares at it for a moment before grinning. “You met your soulmate.'' When Ronan does not answer he sees the smile slip off Ganseys face finally understanding that this meeting had not gone well. “Ronan if they rejected ...”  </p><p>“They didn't reject me” Ronan interjected.</p><p>At this Gansey looked thoughtful. “Then what happened?”</p><p>“It was my fault.” Ronan said tugging his shirt back on. </p><p>At this admittance Gansey just looks at him. Askance and shock flit across his patrician face. For a moment Ronan thinks his eyebrows might permanently migrate to his hairline. “You rejected them?” Gansey asks disbelievingly.</p><p>At that Ronan actually snorts. “Of course not Dick. Who do you take me for, Declan?”</p><p>Gansey now looks mildly exasperated. “Well what else am I supposed to think when you say it's your fault?”</p><p>“It’s my fault because I didn't say anything to them. They left before I could”</p><p>“That doesn't sound like it's your fault Ronan. If it was just a passing meeting it's easy to miss.”</p><p>“Just take my word for it Dick. It was my fault.”</p><p>Gansey looks unhappy at this but he lets it pass saying “So they have no idea they met their soulmate today?”</p><p>“No.” Ronan answers. He then buries his head into the pillow too upset at his own failure to bear facing the world. </p><p>“Well then we have to find them.” Ganseys says.</p><p>“I just tried that.” Ronan then noticed that Gansey had pulled out his phone and was dialing a number. “Who could you possibly be calling?” Ronan asks.</p><p>“A sketch artist. We should do it now while how they look is still fresh in your mind.” Ronan just stares at him blankly. “Ronan we are going to find him.” Gansey assures him. </p><p>It takes Ronan a second to realize the pronouns Gansey had used. “You know?” he asked Gansey. He had never told Gansey that he was gay. Not because he thought that Gansey would care. He’d never told anyone. He’d never gotten the chance to tell his father and after that it had felt like a copout to tell anyone else. </p><p>“You are not exactly that subtle Ronan I’m afraid” Gansey smirked; clearly amused at Ronans surprise.</p><p>Ronan grinned back at him. Even though he had not thought Gansey would have a problem with him being gay it was still a relief to be proven right. “Ok. Call the damn sketch artist.” Gansey beams at him for a moment then proceeds to do just that. While he’s talking Ronan ponders what he should do. A sketch artist might help but it's hardly certain. Besides, he honestly can’t imagine any artist being able to capture his soulmates likeness on a piece of paper. He considers his options until he finally notices Gansey staring at him.</p><p>Gansey flushes at being caught staring at him. “I didn't want to interrupt you, it looked like you were deep in thought.”</p><p>It was then that Ronan made his decision. “I was. I’ve decided I’m going to move.”</p><p>“You’re going to move. Move where?  You’ve only just moved back to The Barns” Gansey inquires confused. </p><p>“To New York of course”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is set three years after the first chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam had known since he realized his parents were soulmates that he had no interest in one. He controlled his own destiny. No mark on his skin was going to tell him who he was supposed to love.</p>
<p>…..</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Adam was meeting Declan at his internship before they were going to head to dinner. When he got there he noticed there was a bit of a crowd around the front of the building which was weird. He stayed a bit away. Normally Declan would come out to him anyway. After a couple minutes passed he checked his watch. It was five minutes past the time when Declan usually came out. This was weird because Declan was always very prompt. He waffled for a moment before walking up to the entrance. When he got there he saw what the crowd was gathered around. It was Declan and another man. They were squared off. Declan's face was bloodied and it was clear from Adam's experience that the other man was gearing up to punch Declan. Before he could Adam grabbed the man's arm. The next thing he knew he was stumbling back, blood gushing from his nose. His head was ringing from the force of the blow. He put his hands up in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. Distantly he realized he could hear Declan saying “You need to leave Ronan. Now, before anyone calls the cops.”  Adam recognized the name as that of Declan’s younger brother. </p>
<p>The man, Ronan, seemed to waver for a second before turning around. Looking at him for the first time Adam couldn't help but note that he was handsome, if in a vicious way. Where Declan looked like someone he could imagine coming home to. Ronan looked like a warning sign. Everything telling him to stay away. As he brushed past Adam he said “You need better friends.” </p>
<p>Declan was next to him a second after. Grabbing a handkerchief out of one of his pockets to press to his nose. Adam almost rolled his eyes at that because of course Declan would have a handkerchief. That thought was quickly pushed out of his head by the burning sensation making its way across his collarbone.</p>
<p>……</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Adam then spent the next several minutes reassuring Declan that yes he was alright. At the end he didn't look reassured but he had at least let it go. Adam had begged out of dinner claiming a need to go home and clean up. Declan had insisted on at least driving him home. Adam accepted; grateful not to have to ride the subway looking like a character out of some kind of slasher movie. The ride happened in awkward silence as Adam had told Declan to please stop apologizing after the third one. Declan seemed unsure what else to say. Adam for his part was far too preoccupied worrying about his mark to attempt to make conversation. When they got to his dorm. Adam got out. Declan looked like he wanted to say something but Adam beat him to it saying “It’s fine Declan. You're not responsible for your brothers actions.” Declan looked like he wanted to argue but seemed to think better of it. Finally he said “You sure you're okay to be alone right now? You could have a concussion.” At that Adam did roll his eyes. “I’m fine. I’ll see you later Dec.” He said closing the door.</p>
<p>When Adam had gotten in. The first thing he did was tug off his shirt to see the mark that had scrawled itself onto his skin. Where once the words had been black they were now a gold that almost seemed to reflect the light from the dingy lamp in his dorm. He’d always hated his mark. But at least before it had been as ugly as the words themselves. Now in the golden script the words looked almost beautiful he thought in disgust. Every vile word that his father had ever spewed about his mark came to the forefront of his mind. Lost in thought he almost didn't notice the door opening behind him. He scrambled to pull an unbloodied shirt on. By the time Blue had made her way in he had a shirt on and his mark hidden. He knew he was going to tell her eventually but he wanted to do it in his own time. He went to the sink to wash his face. She’d still be worried but it was probably better that she didn't see the blood.</p>
<p>“You do know you're supposed to knock before entering another person's room.” He said when he was done.</p>
<p>“If you wanted me to knock then you should lock your door.” she replied a teasing tone to her voice. </p>
<p>“I'll remember that for next time.” he said as he walked out from the bathroom. He knew she had noticed his face when he heard her sharp intake of breath.</p>
<p>She walked up to him taking his face in her hands and looking at it before saying “so who do I need to kill.”</p>
<p>“No one Blue. It was an accident.” she just looked at him disbelievingly. He sighed. “I'm not going to be seeing them again so It doesn't matter.”</p>
<p>“Your face begs to disagree.”</p>
<p>“It's not that bad” he argued.</p>
<p>“You and I have very different definitions of what bad is.” She said. She led him to his bed. Making him sit down before going to the freezer. She rummaged around in it for a moment before finding the package of corn she was looking for. She wrapped it in one of his kitchen towels before handing it to him and joining him on the bed. “What would you do without me?”</p>
<p>“Survive.” He replied. Blue’s appearance in his life had been the catalyst for him going from just surviving to living. She was the closest thing he had to family. They sat for a while in comfortable silence. Basking in the kind of security that came only from being with someone you loved. </p>
<p>Eventually Adam did break the silence to ask the question that had been at the back of his mind since she had first arrived. “So what’s up with you?” Something had almost certainly happened because while it was not unusual for Blue to show up at his dorm at weird times, it was odd for her to do it without letting him know she was going to be coming. </p>
<p>She looked at him appraisingly for a moment before saying “How do you know me so well?”</p>
<p>“Let's be honest here. It's a mutual knowing.”</p>
<p>She looked at him; considering for a moment before agreeing “that's fair.” Adam nudged her. She sighed knowing he wasn't going to let it go. “I met my soulmate today.”</p>
<p>At that he jerked slightly from the shock. What even were the chances of them both meeting their soulmates on the same day. Blue looked at him guiltily. “I know how you feel about soulmates. I almost didn't even come in. I ..”</p>
<p>“Blue. Its fine.” He interrupted her. “I’m happy for you as long as you are happy. I’d be more annoyed if you didn't tell me out of some misguided attempt to protect my feelings.”</p>
<p>At that she gave a slight snort. “I don't know how I feel. I mean I just met him today. I just know I want to give him a chance.” she said. </p>
<p>“Then give him one.”</p>
<p>“Okay. But only if you promise to stop me from making a mistake. Like tell me if he’s actually horrible and I’m just blind to it.” </p>
<p>“Somehow I doubt that that could ever happen.” </p>
<p>“Well you'll get to find out tomorrow. I may have committed us to meeting him and his friend tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Of course you did” Adam replied, more amused than anything. “Well what's his name at least.”</p>
<p>“I don't want to tell you. You'll make fun.”</p>
<p>“It's probably not as bad as you think.”</p>
<p>Blue sighed “Trust me, it's worse.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gansey was being insufferable about meeting his soulmate. Ronan was happy for him of course, but it also made him feel like he was never going to find his own again. It had been three years and he was no closer than when he’d started. On top of it all Declan had unilaterally decided that if no one was living at The Barns then they should move their mother to a nursing home. Like Ronan didn't go home just about every weekend. Even thinking about it made his blood boil. He did feel a bit bad about the bystander who had ended up on the wrong side of his elbow. </p><p>Anyway even though he knew it made him a bad friend Ronan just wasn't in the mood to listen to Gansey prattle on about his soulmate. All Ronan had gathered from his ramblings was that her name was Jane and apparently she was rather terrifying. He had asked how they had met but apparently it was too embarrassing for Gansey to want to share with him yet. No matter, he'd just pry the story from Gansey later. Jane was apparently coming over so they could get to know one another. At least that mean he could fuck off and leave them alone. Ronan despised meeting new people. He grabbed his jacket and was attempting to find his keys when Gansey asked him “Where are you going?”</p><p>“Leaving. So you and Jane can have some alone time.” He said, smirking.</p><p>Gansey flushed. “You can't leave.” he said.</p><p>“Uh why?”</p><p>“Jane is bringing a friend and I told her I would as well.”</p><p>Ronan chuckled “so what you’re saying is that me and her friend are basically your chaperones.”</p><p>“You’re not chaperones. Jane just feels it is best to get to know one another's friends as well.”</p><p>“I’m fairly sure that just means she wants a buffer in case she doesn't like you.”</p><p>Gansey looked flabbergasted for a moment. “I’m sure that's not it.”</p><p>“Sure Gansey. Either way are you really sure that I'm the best choice for this. I feel like you probably want to make a good second impression. Especially because I feel like your first didn't go so well and well I think it's fair to say i'm an acquired taste”</p><p>“Noah is visiting his family so you're what I've got. Just try to play nice.” Gansey pleaded.</p><p>“I’ll try.” </p><p>Gansey looked relieved. “Thanks. I know how much you hate these sorts of things.” <br/>Ronan didn't say it, but he did think that he would do far more distasteful things for Gansey then making uncomfortable small talk.</p><p> </p><p>….</p><p> </p><p>It turned out Jane’s name was actually Blue; she was as short as a child and was dressed as if a child had tried to dress themselves. Ronan was pretty sure she’d made them herself. He glanced at Gansey. Gansey was clearly already head over heels over her  judging by the absolutely smitten look on his face.</p><p>“So you must be shortstuff.” Ronan said, introducing himself. </p><p>Gansey sighed, exasperated “I’m sorry he was raised in a barn. He has no manners.”</p><p>“I’m right here Dick I can hear everything you say.”</p><p>“Oh so now you can hear me.”</p><p>“Of course I can hear you. That doesn't mean I'll listen to you.”</p><p>Gansey took a deep breath seemingly composing himself. Blue on the other hand was actually looking amused by the whole exchange.</p><p>Ronan turned to Blue. “weren't you supposed to bring a friend maggot.”</p><p>“He’s running late. He’ll be here soon.” she said not acknowledging the name. Blue then looked at Gansey expectantly. Gansey for his part seemed to be unsure what she wanted. Finally Blue sighed. “Are you going to introduce your friend to me or should I just keep calling him snake like I've been doing in my head.”</p><p>Ronan looked at her curiously “why snake.”</p><p>“Because you’re hairless like one.” she said, smirking. Ronan decided he liked her. Not that he’d admit it to Gansy.</p><p>“Sorry. I don't know what I've done with my own manners.” Gansey said. “Jane, this is Ronan Lynch.” he said, gesturing between them. A flicker of recognition passed Blue’s face at his name. </p><p>“As in Declan Lynch's brother.” she inquired.</p><p>“You know Declan.” Gansy said nonplussed.</p><p>“Yeah he’s…” she trailed for a moment before finishing “a friend.”</p><p>“Declan doesn't have friends, he has strategic acquaintances.” Ronan said disgust evident in his tone.</p><p>“Now that you mention it I do remember Declan saying something about the two of you not getting along.” she said annoyed. Her expression had darkened slightly.</p><p>“We’d get along if he was less of a fuckface.” Ronan regretted it as soon as he said it. Not because he believed it to be untrue but because he could see Blue’s expression go cold and Gansey was looking increasingly distraught.</p><p>“Well I don't know about you but I don't really let people talk about my friends like that. I'll be leaving.”</p><p>“Blue wait” Gansey pleaded with her. She didn't seem to be listening.</p><p>Before she could actually leave the door opened and someone was saying “Sorry I’m late Blue. I got held up at the garage” When the owner of the voice appeared Ronan thought his heart almost stopped. It was his soulmate. He had clearly grown and his face was bruised but it was him. The bruises on his soulmate's face filled him with rage that someone had hurt him. Gansey had clearly also recognized him as he was gaping at him. </p><p>Ronan finally forced his mouth open and said the words he’d meant to say three years ago “It's you.” </p><p>Ronan saw his soulmate's eyes focus on him. A flicker of recognition passed through them quickly followed by horror. His soulmate then turned and walked out. Blue who had looked confused throughout the whole exchange yelled after him “Adam wait.” he didn't wait. Blue followed him out. Ronan just stood there numb from the horror of the realization that his soulmate had rejected him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam got almost to the subway station before Blue caught up to him. She grabbed his hand, pulling him to a stop.</p><p>“What the hell was that Adam.” He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, so he just stood there, Blue clutching his arm like she was afraid he'd disappear if she let go. Which fair, he might have. This entire situation was just such a goddamn mess. The saving grace was that Ronan didn't know they were soulmates. </p><p>Blue apparently deciding she had waited long enough said “You owe me an explanation.”</p><p>He supposed he did after he’d blown up her meeting her soulmate, so he told her “Ronan is my Soulmate”</p><p>Blue’s expression shifted from anger to shock before finally settling on pity.  “Oh Adam.”</p><p>“Don’t oh Adam me. I'm not a child. I don't need your pity.” He spat out.</p><p>“I don't pity you Adam. I just know how you feel. Empathy is a thing that exists and well it's definitely awkward considering you're dating his brother.”</p><p>Adam grimaced. “Fuck. I have to tell Declan, don't I?”</p><p>“Well it's definitely better he finds out from you rather than Ronan. Especially considering they don't exactly get along” Blue said. Which was such a massive understatement that Adam almost laughed.</p><p>“I hate it when you're logical and right about something I don't want to do.”</p><p>Blue looked mock offended at that “I’m always right.”</p><p>“I’ll text him now so we can talk tonight. The longer I wait, the less I’m gonna want to tell him.” Adam pulled out his phone to text Declan. ‘Can I come over? We need to talk.’ </p><p>A moment later his phone chimed with Declan’s response. ‘Give me 30 minutes.’</p><p>Adam put his phone away. “He said I could come over. I should get going.”</p><p>“Do you want me to come with you?”</p><p>Adam thought about it for a moment. While having Blue there might make him feel slightly better it wasn't fair to Declan. “I can handle it Blue. Thanks though.”</p><p>“Ok. Let me know how it goes.”</p><p>“I will. I’m sorry I ruined tonight.” he apologized.</p><p>Blue tapped him on the shoulder in rebuke “It’s not your fault. Also, you didn't ruin anything. It was already ruined. I was actually about to leave when you showed up.”</p><p>“Went that badly I see.”</p><p>“It really wasn't going well.” she said wryly. She then pulled him into a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p>…..</p><p>Adam arrived at Declan's apartment five minutes before he was supposed to. He stood outside the door for a moment wondering if he should knock now or wait. He had just raised his hand to knock when the door opened. Declan stood in front of him. He had apparently not changed from his internship because he was wearing a button up shirt and dress pants. Normally when Declan and him met up he’d wear jeans and a t- shirt. Declan stepped back to let him enter.</p><p>They made their way to the living room. When Adam sat down Declan said “Let's just get this over with. There's no need to draw it out. I know you're breaking up with me not that I blame you after what Ronan did.”</p><p>“I’m not breaking up with you Declan.” Adam said startled at this turn in the conversation.</p><p>He looked somewhat relieved at that, if still not entirely trusting of the situation. “You said you wanted to talk. You do realize that's basically code for ‘I want to break up with you.’” he said sitting down next to Adam.</p><p>“No. It just means I have something to talk to you about. I have no plans on breaking up with you.” Adam paused for a moment considering “Although after you hear what I have to say you might want to break up with me.”</p><p>“Somehow I doubt that. I know I don't say it enough, but I like you. A lot.” He looked increasingly self-conscious as he said it. </p><p>“Well I am pretty awesome.” Adam replied teasingly. Then more seriously “I like you as well.”</p><p>“Well what's this all about then.”</p><p>Adam hesitated for a moment before finally telling him “I met my soulmate.” Adam could see Declan basically shut down at the topic.</p><p>“You met your soulmate” he repeated dully. </p><p>“Yes. But it doesn't matter; I don't even like them.”</p><p>“You don't even know them Adam.”</p><p>“I know enough.”</p><p>Declan just looked disbelieving. “So what, you're just going to ignore fate.”</p><p>Adam snorted and said “Screw fate. If I listened to fate I'd still be in that goddamn trailer park. I’m not a character in someone's book. I write my own destiny.”</p><p>Declan shook his head “That's not the same thing Adam. Soulmates end up together. That's just how it is.”</p><p>“What you’ve been brainwashed to believe. Do you hate yourself so much that you think you don't deserve happiness?”</p><p>Adam could see Declan flinch at his question. He knew he’d gone too far with it, but he hated that Declan saw himself as less deserving of love. And for what? That he lacked a mark. Adam had only gathered bits and pieces about what Declan’s childhood had been like. Declan and him were similar in that way. Both closed books, loath to let others in. From the little that Declan had shared he knew that Niall Lynch had not been pleased to have an unmarked child and Aurora well she had been too much under Niall’s sway to help. Declan's parents may not have physically harmed him, but they had scarred him emotionally just as deeply as Adam had been by his own parents. To Adam it almost seemed worse. To be outside looking in. To see how much his parents loved and adored his brothers yet be so unloved himself. </p><p>“I’m sorry that was too far.” Adam apologized.</p><p>“No. I think I needed to hear it.” Declan was looking more confident. “I don’t hate myself but you’re right I was always told that I should. That I wasn't good enough for love. You're the only person I've ever met who hasn't pitied me for being markless.” Then Adam was being drawn into a fierce kiss. After a long moment they pulled apart. Both breathless. Declan was looking at him with an intensity that made Adam feel more seen then he ever had been before. Declan grinned and said. “Screw fate.” Then they were kissing again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan woke up with a dull headache, the taste of whiskey heavy in his mouth. Ronan hadn't stayed for very long after his soulmate, Adam, had left. It felt surreal. After three years he knew his soulmate's name. Not that it mattered. Now that he was thinking about it Ronan wasn't actually sure what had happened last night. He got up, letting out a pained groan as his headache bloomed at the movement. He trudged out to the kitchen where Gansey was sitting at the dining table. He was talking to someone on the phone. Gansey saw Ronan approaching and said to whomever was on the other end “Thanks for your help. I look forward to receiving your email.” </p>
<p>Ronan dropped himself into the chair next to Gansey. “Who was that?” </p>
<p>“The dean of housing for NYU.”</p>
<p>Ronan stared at Gansey blankly for a second before asking “Why were you on the phone with them.”</p>
<p>“You don't remember what happened last night at all do you?”</p>
<p>Ronan glowered before gritting out “not really.”</p>
<p>“Well last night after you had gotten gloriously drunk you mentioned that you wanted to know why Adam had run away. You were lamenting that the only thing you knew about him was that his name was Adam and that he probably went to NYU.” Gansey paused and he was obviously excited.</p>
<p>“You found him?”</p>
<p> Well after you mentioned he went to NYU I was thinking that there are definitely a limited number of Adams at NYU. So I set up a phone call with the dean. Anyway long story short is the deans going to send me a list of all the Adams currently attending and which dorms they live in. Even better, this list has their student profile pictures so we’ll be able to tell which one is him. </p>
<p>“So we’re basically stalking him” Ronan says.</p>
<p>“Stalking seems harsh.”</p>
<p>“So what we find him and I show up at his dorm unannounced.” </p>
<p>Gansey shrugs. “That part is up to you.”</p>
<p>Ronan ruminated over it for a moment before deciding  “Why the fuck not. He already hates me.”</p>
<p>…..</p>
<p>When Ronan arrived outside of Adams dorm room he hesitated for only a moment before knocking. Although one could hardly call it knocking. Ronan's knock was impossible to ignore. It didn't take long for Adam to respond. Adam threw open the door scowling “What the hell …” He trailed off. Ronan stared, the only thing Adam was wearing was a towel wrapped around his hips, water dripping down him. He had clearly been in the middle of taking a shower. Ronan then noticed Adam’s mark scrawled in golden script across his collarbone and his blood ran cold. The words weren't what he had said to Adam yesterday. He had said those words three days ago, to the bystander he had elbowed in the face. He remembered passing them. Blood running down their face. Hands covering in a futile attempt to stop the flow of blood. ‘You need better friends’ he had said to Adam. The door closed on him. Ronan just stood there, shell shocked by this revelation. When Adam opened the door again after maybe a minute he was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was still damp. He sighed stepping back “I suppose you might as well come in.” Ronan stepped in. Adams dorm room was rather barren. It was clear that most of his things were old and well worn but also that they were well cared for. </p>
<p>After Adam had closed the door behind him and they were facing each other Ronan said “I’m sorry about … you know” gesturing to his own face awkwardly. Adam looked rather amused at his attempt at an apology. Ronan felt his face flush in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“It's fine. I know it was an accident” he said. “What are you doing here though?”</p>
<p>“I came to find out why you ran away last night but that's pretty clear now. I’d hate me as well if I was you.” Ronan looked away, not wanting to meet Adams' eyes. </p>
<p>Wow. I thought self-flagellation was just a Declan thing but it turns out it's a Lynch thing.” Ronan hadn’t quite gotten that far in his mental math. But it did make sense that Adam knew Declan seeing as Blue had. </p>
<p>“How did you even find me?”</p>
<p>“I might have bribed a dean to give me a list of all the Adams who went to NYU.” Technically that had been Gansey but he had already screwed him over enough.</p>
<p>Adam grinned “That would be almost impressive if NYU didn't already have a free online student directory.”</p>
<p>“Well shit.” </p>
<p>Adam laughed. Ronan thought about how much he wanted to hear that again. He didn't deserve to though. “I'm still a little confused though. Why’d you care that I ran away last night”</p>
<p>Now Ronan was the confused one. “Because you’re my soulmate”</p>
<p>“Yes, but you didn't know that until I talked to you just now.”</p>
<p>Ronan laughed. “I’ve known you were my soulmate for three years now.”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about we didn't meet until three days ago.”</p>
<p>“No, that was just when I ruined any chance I ever had” Ronan replied ruefully.</p>
<p>Adam gave a sigh “It's more complicated than that. But you’re off topic. You're supposed to be explaining how you've known I was your soulmate for three years.”</p>
<p>“You saved my life three years ago. Stopped me from getting run over by a bus.” Ronan thought that it didn't seem like Adam hated him. Maybe they could be friends at the very least.</p>
<p>“I remember that.” Adam said slowly. “That was you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah”</p>
<p>“Wow. That's actually kind of insane.”</p>
<p>“A bit.” Ronan fidgeted “You don't owe me anything but you said it's complicated?” Ronan finished a question in his voice. </p>
<p>“It's not you. I just don't want a soulmate. I actually already have a boyfriend who I really like.”</p>
<p>“What are you going to do when they find their soulmate?”</p>
<p>Adam hesitated before saying “Actually he doesn't have a mark.”</p>
<p>Ronan was surprised, being markless was rare. Not in a good way but still the only markless person who he had ever met was Declan. Ronan's thoughts came to a screeching halt as he reached the horrible conclusion of who Adams' boyfriend was.</p>
<p>“Does he know?” Ronan asked. A bitter taste in his mouth.</p>
<p>“I haven't told him yet. This isn't his fault Ronan.”</p>
<p>“No. He’s just fucking my soulmate.” </p>
<p>Adam bristled at that. “I’m not a thing. No one owns me and certainly not you.”<br/>Ronan deflated slightly at that. “I didn't mean it like that” he said weakly.</p>
<p>“Maybe not, but you do feel you have a right to me because you're my soulmate.”</p>
<p>“We’re soulmates. We belong to each other.”</p>
<p>Adam looked at him sadly. “That's not what I want, I think you should leave.”</p>
<p>Adam opened the door for Ronan and as he was leaving Adam said “I’m going to tell Declan. I’d appreciate it if you let me.”</p>
<p>Ronan didn't answer.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies for the wait. I hit a bit of a roadblock in deciding where I wanted this fic to go.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan stormed off; his mind clouded by overwhelming rage. He found himself heading to Declan’s apartment. For a moment Ronan felt bad about confronting Declan after Adam had specifically asked him not to. He shook it off though. This was for Adam’s own good. He didn't know Declan the way Ronan did. The way he went through a line of girls like they were expendable. That was bad enough when they were other people's soulmates that Declan was using. Now it was Ronan's. </p>
<p>That was how for the second time that day Ronan ended up knocking obnoxiously on someone's door. How dare Declan trick Adam into thinking that Declan actually cares about him. How dare Declan treat his soulmate as just another one of his conquests. </p>
<p>After a long minute Declan finally answers the door. His look of annoyance quickly changes to surprise when he sees it is Ronan. He looks so shocked it's almost funny. </p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” Declan says after he has recovered enough to have on that perfectly practiced neutral face that never fails to fill Ronan with vitriol. </p>
<p>“What? I can't just come to visit my brother.” Ronan sneers.</p>
<p>Declan sighs, his mask cracking just a bit in his exasperation. “I don't have time to indulge your self-destructive behavior right now, I'm actually on my way out. If you’re here to start a fight I recommend you come back another night.”</p>
<p>“You’re going out to meet your boyfriend?” Ronan says. Declan freezes at that. “That's where you are going right to meet up with Adam.” Ronan spits out. He gestures at Declan, then realizes the clothes he’s wearing are almost casual. Not quite but certainly one of the more casual outfits he had ever seen Declan wear. He is so shocked by this he forgets where he was going with his tirade.</p>
<p>“You don't know anything about that. Adam has nothing to do with this. So why don't we leave him out of this.” Declan says. He looks weary in a way that makes Ronan almost uncomfortable. It has been a long time since he’s seen Declan without some kind of mask. He hates how vulnerable the lack of one makes Declan seem. If Declan had a soul, he would say it was like he was baring his soul to him. </p>
<p>This is where he should tell him that Adam has everything to do with it. That Adam is his soulmate. But he thinks of Gansey, who was so excited to meet his own soulmate, he thinks of the fact that if he does this, he likely has no chance to redeem himself to Adam. Surprisingly, he even thinks of Declan. There was no way that Declan could have known that Adam was his soulmate. So instead he says “whatever” and turns to leave.</p>
<p>He is on his way to Gansey’s when he sees Adam. He is obviously heading to Declan’s. Adam sees him and just looks so exhausted, but also angry. Adam comes up to him and says. “You had no right to tell him. This is between me and Declan. It has nothing to do with you.”</p>
<p>Ronan starts laughing. Adam just looks even angrier at that. “You think this is funny. Why is ruining Declan's life just a joke to you.”</p>
<p>“I’m laughing because I didn't tell him. Also, he said almost the exact same thing when I brought you up.”</p>
<p>Adam stops at that. “You didn't” he asks questioningly. “Why?”</p>
<p>“Honestly, I don’t really know why. I just didn’t. I also won’t, but there's one thing I want though.”</p>
<p>Adam looks both wary at that but also more relaxed like asking for a favor in return for basic human decency is something that he is used to. “What do you want?”</p>
<p>“Your friend Blue, She’s Ganseys soulmate. Convince her to give him a chance.”</p>
<p>Adam laughs at that. </p>
<p>“Ok seriously how is that funny?”</p>
<p>“It’s funny cause you don’t know Blue and I assure I can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to.”</p>
<p>“I’m not saying she has to fall in love with him. Just Gansey shouldn't be fucked because I'm a dumbass.” Ronan shuffles his feet feeling horribly awkward all of a sudden. </p>
<p>“I’ll talk to her. I can't make any promises though.” Adam says before turning to leave.</p>
<p>Ronan just watches his soulmate walk away and hopes he will also get a chance.</p>
<p>……..</p>
<p>Ronan hadn’t told Declan about them, not that in the end it changed anything seeing as when Adam had told him, he had immediately broken up with him. Adam wasn’t mad at him for that. How could he be when he did it out of a desire to protect his brother. No one had ever sacrificed like that for Adam but that did not mean he couldn't understand where it came from. He imagined that if he and Blue were in a similar situation, he would do the same. Which is of course how he had arrived at this moment. Only Blue was capable of making him willingly interact with his soulmate. Blue of course had shamelessly goaded him into it. He remembered how the conversation had gone.</p>
<p>…….</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Adaaaam” she whined. He didn't react. Merely continued reading his biology textbook. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Not to be deterred she poked him in the temple. Then continued doing so until he looked at her and said, “Have we seriously regressed to this childish display.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Well you won’t listen to reason so yes, yes we have.”</em>
</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ve said no Blue.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Maybe, but I’m holding out for a yes Blue. Besides, I’m not asking you to give him a chance as your soulmate. I’m asking you to give him a chance as a human being. He’s not so bad once you get to know him. Honestly, his biggest flaw is his horrible taste in music.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Really that's his biggest flaw.” Adam replied dryly. “You mean not the fact that he regularly incites violence with his brother.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m not absolving him.” Blue bit back. “I’m just tired of having to dance around like this. I feel like I’m living two lives. The one where you’re best friend, almost a brother to me, and the one where Gansey is my soulmate and Ronan’s a sarcastic asshole who I begrudgingly endure. I don't expect you to like him. All I want is for the two of you to be able to be in the same room together.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>…….</p>
<p>So here he was, about to meet his Soulmate for the fourth or sixth time apparently depending on who was counting. He knocked on the door and waited.</p>
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